If your child is being bullied, it can be heartbreaking—but you’re not alone, and there’s a lot you can do to help. From personal experience, I know it can be really worrying leaving a child, if you have a concern they may be bullied. So, although these hints and tips are for how you can support your child, it is also important to care for yourself. It might be reaching out to your support network to talk about your own feelings. Using self-compassion is important, when we cannot be fully in control of the situation.
1. Spot the Signs
Children don’t always say when something’s wrong. It is important to look out for:
- Changes in mood or behaviour (sadness, anger, withdrawal)
- Avoiding school or social activities
- Unexplained bruises or missing belongings
- Trouble sleeping or eating
- Drop in school performance
2. Talk and Listen
- Create a calm space where your child feels safe to open-up and talk. I often found driving in the car was a good place, not being looked at, enabled my children to share more freely.
- Listen without judgment. Let them share at their own pace.
- Reassure them. Say things like, “I’m here for you,” or “You’re not alone in this.”
3. Understand What’s Happening
Ask gentle questions like:
- “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”
- “Who was involved?”
- “How did it make you feel?” Sometimes we can think we know how it is feeling, but it is more helpful to allow them to explain in their own words. I found an emotion wheel helpful when they were finding it hard to find the word, sometimes using a colour or just being able to point can be helpful. (see below)
- Write down what they tell you, it helps if you need to speak to the school.
- If it’s online bullying, save screenshots or messages.
4. Build Their Confidence
- Practice simple, assertive responses together like: “Please stop. That’s not okay.”
- Encourage friendships and activities that make them feel good.
- Remind them that being bullied is never their fault.
5. Work With the School
- Reach out to their teacher or head of year.
- Share what you know and ask what support is available.
- Keep in touch with the school and follow up if needed.
6. Look After Their Wellbeing
- Keep an eye on their emotional health.
- If they’re struggling, consider speaking to a school wellbeing team.
- Let them know it’s okay to feel upset—and that things can get better. Being able to sit with your child in difficult feelings is powerful and helps the child to feel validated and not rushed. This always encouraged some helpful conversations with my children, even though at times it broke my heart to see their distress.
7. Stay Connected
- Keep talking regularly, even about everyday things.
- Celebrate their strengths and remind them how loved they are. It is good to have something to look forward to so saying things like I know today is difficult, but that you are looking forward to the weekend when you can go and grab a hot chocolate together, shows that there is something hopeful in the future.
Further Resources
Emotions wheel for helping to talk with your child about how they are feeling.
National Bullying Helpline
Helpline: 0300 323 0169
Telephone: 0845 225 5787
Open from 9am to 5pm Monday to Friday, and 10am to 12pm on Saturday.
They also have guides with:
- Information for employees dealing with bullying at work
- Help and advice for parents dealing with bullying at school
- Advice for children with steps to help stop the bullying
Anti-Bullying Alliance (ABA)
This website has a fantastic Advice and Support section about what to do if you are bullied (at school or at work), what to do as a parent if your child is bullied, how to make a complaint about bullying and so on. They also offer Anti-bullying CPD online training.
Act Against Bullying – A UK Anti-bullying Charity for Children
They have a Bullying advice page to explain how to react to different types of bullying, as well as very powerful anti-bullying monologues – ideal for drama classes, assemblies, and school campaigns. Use them to inspire discussion, build empathy, and encourage change.
Bullies Out
They offer:
- Support for Schools
- Anti-bullying CPD training (for workplace, harassment, for professionals, educators, mentoring, parents, online safety)
Kidspace
As well as advice about bullying and training, they offer information about trauma linked to bullying.
Young Minds
This is a brilliant mental health charity for children with great advice about bullying also providing advice and information about any mental health issues – both for parents and young people.
They also have a free parents helpline: 0808 802 5544. Open from 9.30am – 4pm on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays and from 9.30am – 6pm on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
They also have a Chat to Us Online option: Parents Helpline | Mental Health Help for Your Child | YoungMinds
